Self Help

An exercise to heal the past

Being a solution-focussed therapist, I'm not the sort of guy to dwell unduly on the past, digging through old hurts, trying to 'get to the root of it all' through 'psychological archaeology'.

So often, that doesn't help beyond giving someone a sense of why they feel bad; it doesn't help them see how they can actually move on.

Of course, sometimes the past does keep tripping up the present, so we need to do something. But it's not enough just to 'explore' what happened. We need to change the way it feels so it can stop bothering us.

There is a great hypnotic exercise which helped Sam immensely. I had him focus on all his adult traits, abilities, learnings, and perspective and think of a trusted adult friend.

Next, with a sense of the presence of that friend and his own adult attributes and perspectives, I had him hypnotically go comfort his seven-year-old self. He was to put his arms around him (his much younger self) and tell him not to worry because everything was going to be okay in the future.

He went back to a time when he had felt particularly bad on first learning his mother wouldn't be coming back. Afterwards, he reported feeling much calmer and "at peace" for the first time he could remember.

If you want to know how to do these sorts of things for yourself, try our free course ' Learn hypnosis in 5 days'.

To your relationship bliss,


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