Acceptance of Reality

Excuse me sir, but now I’m the boss!!
Huddled in the midst of almost a hundred faces, mirroring my emotions, arms clad in sweat, struggling to force a half smile at someone who just valiantly cracked a half-baked joke to moderate the atmosphere (but actually feeling like strangling him), looking expectantly at the closed doors only half wanting it to open, I feel like a miserable bundle of nerves, ready to explode at any second!
If only I could ensconce myself in some secluded corner so as to camouflage my pale face and cold feet, so evident by the broad daylight. I try my best to wear my “I don’t give a damn look”, but alas my trepidation gives way. Whom am I kidding?? All I want was the woman behind those doors who exhibited her formal attire not only in her clothes but also in her ways(why should they carry around such an heir, revelling in every moment while playing squash with our destinies!!), to walk out those doors and utter my name. I want it and yet did not want it to happen, at the same time. All sense of hunger, thirst and time slip into ether!!
Every time she comes out and reads a different name, “your through”, she says, I struggle to muster a “way to go man” to my neighbour, yet swear beneath my breadth!!
At that time I decide to shut my eyes and take a brave stride in facing what my mind was trying to tell me, which I was  putting up a brave effort to keep at bay so far. It was muttering to me my deepest fears entwined with my glorious dreams, clouding and relieving me like thunder and sunshine all at once. Enchanting castles and hopeless chimeras were battling alongside. I adopt a defeatist attitude and surrender to it.
Suddenly I hear my parents, screaming with elation into the phone, “that’s my girl”, they say, pride and contention emitting from every word they utter, their faces glowing with satisfaction, which I can undoubtedly visualize in spite of them not being there with me in person....