Dear Chase, 

I'm not quite sure where to begin; I know this past week has been a mess, both our faults, I'm not just directing it towards you. I have had ten million things running through my mind the past few days, and I am going to try and get a few of them out right now. 

For one, I do cherish your friendship, like I said in one of my messages, you and I have shared things and conversations about our lives, our families that I would never with anyone else. The main reason for that is because I trust you, and you listen to me, as I do to you. I can say that I have had some of the most wonderful times with you that I have ever had in my entire life. I had told you before that when you talk I hold onto every word that comes out of your mouth and it's like they are engraved in the back of my mind forever. I don't know why you have that affect on me; maybe it's the fact that we have become such good friends. To be quite honest with you, I don't trust people very easily as you very well know, and I could probably say the same for you. I think that is why I did let that wall down and let you into my life and my heart, because I felt safe. Let me ask you, why do I feel like building it back up? 

Let me explain what I want in my life. I want someone to share my laughter and my fears, someone to listen and be there when I feel like the world is crashing down on me. I want to give that same courtesy back to them in return. I don't want someone standing at my door waiting for me to get home, or around constantly, because that drives me absolutely crazy. I do think that since you and I have spent so much time together that I have become a little dependant on you, and wanting to talk to you. That doesn't necessarily mean seeing you every day, or a three-hour phone call, but just the reassurance to know that you are in fact still there. Is that too much for you? It sometimes feels like you only call when you know I am upset because you haven't called. You hardly ever...