Things I Could Improve

There are obviously a lot of things that I can improve and it would be great if you could help me out.

But more importantly is this a fitting essay for the topic that I chose to talk about? I wrote about my role model.

Shine on you crazy diamond
“Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun. Now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.” When I was young I was whatever I wanted to be. Sometimes I played ninja with vacuum cleaner tube parts or screeched and acted out a flying dinosaur. I boldly did the things any little boy would and shined like a rock star. I was a crazy shining diamond.

My grandfather is my role model because he always shined. He raised me with not many words but in attitude. From his birth he was prevalently a noble gentleman. He always walked with his hands behind his back like a classic gentleman. He used to be the mayor of the town with a lot of land. With his money he ran a nursery home for people who didn’t have sons to bury them: bums, hobos, and fading old gangsters. Everything he did was honorable and everywhere he went he was venerated. He humbly shined where ever I went with him, and that made me proud.

Many people forget to shine as they age. People become naturally suppressed by prevailing conceptions like prejudice and events in their lives. Eventually they lose the shine in their eyes which is replaced by empty black holes. I forgot to shine as I perceived how large the world is. Music was my thing and I was constantly the best at the piano of my age and from that I gathered a bit of arrogance. When I entered the music school by the urge of my parents; I found a place where everyone was excellent. Childishly I lost confidence and went into a sort of a depression.

But I want to shine like my grandfather did. The black hole in my life definitely made a lasting impact on my personality but it has succumbed gradually as I lived. Now it’s nearing the time for an important decision I will make...