Influence Journal

Influence Journal
Sheya Stanton


I think I have power over my daughter.   I believe it is almost all the types of power.   I have coercive power, because she is afraid of getting spanked. I have not had to use this as a punishment, but she knows about it, and she is afraid of the threat of it.   I have power source as a reward, because I can get her to do her chores and other favors for me on a reward basis, extra TV time and toys are usually a good reward.   I have legitimate power because I am her mother. I have expert influence because I am older and I know more things than her. I am able to amaze her with things I know.   I also have referent power because she is still young enough to respect and admire me.   At this point she is getting older, so I am losing some of the power as she likes to argue and get mad when I ask some things of her.
I use many compliance gaining techniques on my husband.   The techniques I use most often are exchange, distributive, and other-benefit.   Sometime these are effective, but sometimes he still does not agree to do I need him to do.   He does not like to be coerced into doing thing, so if he feel I am tricking him to do something he definitely will not do it. I feel if I could just get him to do things without having to persuade him things would be easier for both of us.   For example, I have to let him know what we are having for dinner to get him to come to my parents house for a family dinner, instead I feel he should just come without needing and exchange or   other-benefit type persuation.
For me, I feel he often uses the direct-request, because he is a very direct person.   This is a good method to use one me, but sometime it can border on insulting.   If I am asked to not talk so loud or be as sarcastic I feel this can feel like a personal attack.
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