Classification of Dieters

Haley Thompson

Mrs. Carey
English 101
October 8, 2010
Different Types of Dieters
In America today, thousands of people search for the elusive dream of being thin.   On any given day, people find neighbors, friends, and relatives on some kind of diet.   Dieters assume various disguises, but the noteworthy ones are the ‘Bandwagoneers’, ‘Promisers’, and the ‘Lethal losers.’
      Everyone wants to lose weight quickly and effortlessly; therefore, any fad diet promising overnight results becomes the new call of the Bandwagoneers.   Bandwagonners try the grapefruit diet, strawberry diet, or the watermelon diet, but they decide that their stomach cannot handle all of the fruit.   The next day the television advertises a new wonder pill that will allow them to lose ten pounds in one week.   Never fail, the Bandwagoneers answer the call.   Although the magic pill does not produce the desired weight loss, these dieters never give up hope for a new wagon on which to hitch a ride.   Once again, these dieters are lured by advertisements of instant spot reduction — liposuction.   Now these desperate dieters cross over the safety line into a danger zone of unknown procedures performed by unqualified physicians.   These Bandwagoneers are always listening for the newest cure on the dieting market.
      The Promisers are the dieters with only fifteen pounds to lose. As each year flies by they decide dieting is harder than eating what they want.   The Tomorrow Promisers and the Monday Promisers are the dieters that we know best.   The Tomorrow Promisers are always starting their diets tomorrow after one last scrumptious meal.   The Monday Promisers are the dieters that realize there is always going to be another Monday; furthermore, they eat all week in preparation for their Monday fast.   Most weight loss attempts by the Promisers are unsuccessful.
      The most tragic of all dieters in American society are the Lethal Losers.   Normally, these dieters are young woman with low...