About Me...

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learnt in seven years.” – Mark Twain. Much like Mark Twain, as I age, I begin to view my parents in a different way than I did as an adolescent. Much of this is the result of many changes in my relationship with my parents. Becoming an adult and having my own child has caused me to have so much more respect for each parent.   Our relationship has greatly improved since I have become an adult. While not all relationships between adolescents and parents improve when the adolescent reaches adulthood, I have a very different view of my parent since leaving home and having a child of my own.
  Adolescence is in some ways, a very egocentric time during life. Many adolescents, as did I, view their parents as ignorant or worse and have a difficult time understanding their parents’ perspectives. Adolescents often look at their parents with a pitiless gaze magnifying deficiencies and becoming irritated by their imperfections although, in adulthood most come to see their parents in a much more sympathetic and benevolent light.   As an adolescent emerges into adulthood, he or she will begin to establish a new relationship with their parents as friends or even near- equals. These changes do not happen overnight, but occur gradually throughout emerging adulthood. These changes establish a new intimacy for the parent with a new sense of mutual respect. Because of this newfound respect, the adolescent begins to value the opinions of their parents, as does the parent for the values of the adolescent. This is known as filial maturity.   Filial maturity is a large factor influencing relationships and refers to the adult child’s ability to accept their parents as individuals- recognizing parent’s personal needs and goals, accepting imperfections and failings as well as their positive qualities. Achieving this maturity requires...