Sleeping Beauty Poem

“You’re dumping me?!” he screamed in rage,
“But we’ve been together for such an age!”
“I’m sorry but the blatant truth
Your randiness is so uncouth.”

Beauty’s dude was mortified
His eyes ablaze, his mouth was wide.
“I put on you a curse!” he cried,
“You’ll sleep until the day you die!
Until a bloke more fit that me
Snogs your face and sets you free!”

As Beauty’s body hit the floor
She saw him running for the door
She screamed, her body writhed in spasm
“You’re puny, I faked every orgasm!”

The ambulance comes, the sirens drone,
Poor Beauty’s body turns to stone,
Medics rush her into bed;
Her mother waits, face etched with dread.
The doctor comes and delivers the news,
“A coma, I’m afraid, brought on by booze.”

“My daughter!?” mum yelled, “an alcoholic?
Sure, she often loved to frolic,
But test again, and you will see,
That she’s as sober as can be!
Sorry to be such a bugger,
But she drinks tea with milk and sugar!”

Hands on hips Doc stood perplexed,
For he was absolutely hexed.
“How can it be this gorgeous girl
Has drank enough to make her hurl,
When you claim all she drinks is tea
Tell me mum, how can this be!?”

Beauty’s mum looked fit to cry,
But before she’d managed to reply
There sounded an almighty din
And Beauty’s ex came crashing in!

“I’m sorry!!” he sobbed, “I confess
It’s my fault she’s in such a mess!
You might as well go fire your nurse,
For I have placed on her a curse
To sleep until the day she’ll die
Unless she finds a decent guy.

The only way to end all this,
Is to gain from her true love a kiss.”

Beauty’s mum sighs, “Thanks for that!
You always were a total prat!”
“You’ll pay for what you’ve done!” she squalls,
And kicks him right between his balls.

She left him squirming on the floor,
Went and walked straight out the door.
She couldn’t care for his lamb chop,
As she was hunting for a shop.

After walking round and round,
A newsagents was finally found.
And there she...